King David's Dysfunctional Family



Text: 2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33
Title: David and Absalom
Preacher: Rev. Jerry Cho
Date: Aug. 16, 2009



When I visited Boston a few weeks ago, I saw of a statue of Samuel Adams, one of the founding fathers of the United States. In the statue Samuel Adams was lean and tall. But our tour guide said that Samuel Adams was short and plump in real life. The sculptor made Samuel Adams look better because he was a national hero.

King David was a national hero in the history of Israel. The author of the Books of 1, 2 Kings could have made King David look better by embellishing David’s life and hiding dirty secrets of David’s family life.

For some reason, however, the writer revealed ugly truths about King David’s dysfunctional family. For example, King David had an affair with a married woman. He had her husband killed. King David’s baby son from the woman died at infancy. King David had another son, named Amnon. Amnon raped Tamar, King David’s daughter. Namely, Amnon raped his half sister. Tamar’s brother, Absalom, was infuriated at Amnon, his half brother. So Absalom killed Amnon and ran away.

A few years later, King David decided to forgive Absalom, thinking, “Amnon is dead. There is nothing I can do about it. Even though Absalom did things to hurt me, he is still my son. I want to forgive him and make up with him.”

Absalom came home and made peace with his father. But the reconciliation and peace was short lived. A conflict, a much more serious conflict between King David and Absalom arose because Absalom realized that he was not going to be the heir of King David. Absalom decided that he would

So Absalom gathered up his followers and tried to kill his father so that he might be a king.

As there were many followers of Absalom, King David had to run for his life. The Bible records that King David walked barefoot escaping from Absalom and crying over the tragic domestic situation.
At first Absalom’s army was winning the battle over David’s army. But later the table was turned. David’s army defeated Absalom’s army and was chasing Absalom. King David told his Generals to treat Absalom gently.

Absalom was fleeing for his life on horseback. David’s army was gaining on him when Absalom’s long hair was caught by the tree branches. His horse kept running without him. Absalom was dangling in midair and David’s soldiers found him and killed him.

Upon hearing the news, King David became very sad and said to himself, “Absalom, Absalom, my son, it would have been better if I had died instead of you.”

Talk about a dysfunctional family. King David had about everything ugly in his family such as incest, rape, domestic violence, rebellion, and intentional homicide among family members.

Why did the author of 1 & 2 Kings reveal these ugly truths about King David and his dysfunctional family instead of hiding these family secrets and emphasizing the glory and splendor of King David’s dynasty?

The beauty of the Bible is that the Bible does not propagandize or glorify any human being. The protagonist of the Bible is God, not human beings including kings. The main character of the Bible is God, not great national heroes. The Bible reveals that even the greatest king is only a human being, fragile, fallible, and far from being perfect.

The Bible also teaches us that we are not the only one who has family problems. If we are sad or mad about our share of family problems, we learn from the Bible that we are not the only ones. How comforting it is to know that people in the Bible had to deal with family issues like ours or even worse than ours!

Do you have rebellious and disrespectful children? King David had a son who tried to kill him.

Do you have children who fight amongst themselves? King David had a son who killed his brother.

Do you have children who embarrass you and shame you? King David had a son who raped his sister.

Do you worry about your children’s health problems? King David had sons who died violent deaths.

So please be comforted, knowing that we are not the only ones who have family problems.

I know that this knowledge does not make your pains less or your heartaches go away but it helps you to put your problems in the right perspectives.

Another lesson that we can learn from today’s Bible story is that we are to accept the fact that life is not perfect.

Have you tried to love people and yet, people don’t love you back? I know that most people are nice to you when you are nice to them. But there is always an exception. In fact, it would be too naïve and too simplistic for us to believe that if we are kind to people, people will always reciprocate our kindness.

King David forgave Absalom and loved him. And yet, Absalom did not love his father back. In fact, he even tried to kill his father to seize his power.

Jesus loved people and yet, they killed him on the cross. Abram Lincoln forgave the Southerners when the Union won the Civil War. Lincoln loved all Americans, saying, “Malice toward none, Charity for all.” And yet, he was killed.

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Taken from :
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